I’m afraid this post is going to have a really decent rant in it and it’s something I need to express but first of all I’ll deal with the positives. It’s now two months to the day since Amelia was born and everything has changed so much. Amelia is now absolutely huge compared to when she was born and is way taller than most babies her age. She’s also developing really nicely and has an absolutely gorgeous smile, amazing laugh and a great little personality. She’s also able to track things with her eyes, recognises and reacts when we talk to her and is coming along nicely with all of her exercises and developments.
We still try to take her out almost every day for a walk of whatever length (sometimes we’ll just take her to the supermarket and some days I’ll walk around the shops for 3-4 hours, all depends) but the main thing for us now is time. I’m really busy with photography and at the time or writing this still have several weddings to edit with a load more coming up but Liv has also gone back to college, so during the day I will look after Amelia and sadly can’t get any work done. I think the main thing that parenthood has taught us is to manage our time. Liv is also now working on her final project for the first year of her college course but she’s doing really amazing with balancing college work, looking after Amelia, cooking, cleaning and everything else that she needs to do.
This brings me onto my rant. Maybe it’s because Liv is from outside of the EU but I really do feel the way she has been treated at times throughout her pregnancy and afterwards is absolutely disgraceful. The first incident that really angered me was when Liv and I visited our local doctor’s practice for one of her pre labour check ups and we were told we had to wait for our appointment (we were booked for the first appointment after the practice’s lunchbreak but ended up being the third couple to be seen) because the first two couple’s didn’t speak English and needed translators. This is something that really angers me as pretty much anyone from the EU can walk straight into the UK with little to no language skills yet someone from outside the EU, ie Liv, have to go through really stringent language and lifestyle tests (the latter having practically no relevance to modern British life). So once we had our appointment we told the midwife next time Liv is pregnant she will demand a Chinese translator for all future appointments. Why should she be reprimanded for speaking English while others aren’t for not speaking it.
Another incident, and one a lot worse, is when we went to the same doctor’s practice for Liv and Amelia’s six week post birth checkups. In all fairness the doctor that examined Liv was really nice and couldn’t be faulted. The doctor that examined Amelia was awful. First of all she came into the waiting area and called us through but disappeared without telling us where to go then when we finally found the room there was no introduction, just “where is your form”. This is a form that we are apparently supposed to hand in but at no point beforehand were advised to do so. This is no problem but we didn’t need to be constantly reminded. The thing that really angered both of us and made Liv cry was the discussion about breastfeeding. After the none introduction and lecture about the form the doctor asked if Liv is breastfeeding entirely or mixing breastfeeding with formula. We then explained that Liv is unable to produce enough breast milk to entirely feed Amelia with and that we feed Amelia breast milk first and then effectively “top her up” with formula. This ensures she gets the nutrients from breast milk but doesn’t starve. The doctor then said “but you should be feeding your daughter just with breast milk”, effectively saying that we are failing our daughter (calling Liv a bad mother). Liv shouted at the doctor “what am I supposed to do, starve my baby?!” which the doctor had no response to. This really pissed us off, the whole theory that mother’s should just breastfeed and if they don’t they are failing their children. Some women can produce enough breast milk and for those who can well done, others can’t. This doesn’t mean these mothers are bad. Take for example myself and my brother. My brother is 6ft tall, is a very successful businessman and has an IQ of 170. He was bottle fed. I’m 6ft 4, strong as an ox, have my own business, etc. I was bottle fed. So to those who say “you should only breast feed”, piss off!